Dream of my husband Robert with Jesus 02/2014

Dream of my husband Robert with Jesus 02/2014

Yes God  allows our loved ones to communicate.  I know because he is a good God and he loves us.    He brings comfort in many ways.  There are different types of dreams and different reasons why we have  dreams.  I believe all dreams have  meaning.  Sometimes the answers to questions manifest in dreams.   

The prophetic dreams of Daniel focuses on warnings and prophecy.  There are also instructional dreams and revelations.    The apostle John had dream-visions, but his revelations were  for prophecy which included warnings.  My particular dream is on a personal level, but it has spiritual significance.

My husband Robert  often agreed with me when I  said that  some people will not understand, because some are not capable of understanding.   Since my husband Robert went to live in heaven  on January 24, 2014,  I have experienced some dreams and had some spiritual encounters, and I am not the only one.   I appreciate the Lord giving me and my family these insights. 

About three days ago on February 16, 2014  in the early morning hours I had a dream of Robert .  Even though it was a wonderful dream, and it was comforting,  I still  miss his physical presence.   My husband was such a spark of energy and love, and everyday he treated me with love and kindness.   

I fell asleep after reading Bible passages and watching a movie. The first thing I remember in the dream is a feeling of transportation to another place.   It felt like I was moving out and then up from where I was physically sleeping on the couch. I was actually someplace else and going somewhere,  but I had no control over this, and I could not see my physical body.

The first thing I noticed was a beautiful spiral stone pathway that started with a single stone that gradually got wider.  The path was there but there were clouds around the path which hid most of the background.  The stones were round and smooth which natural shades ranging from brown to white. The path grew bigger as more of it became visible.  There was a sense of clean fragrant air which was sweet and felt healing.   Every where I looked nothing was dirty or unclean.

In the background I saw houses of Middle Eastern design.  I saw one doorway to a house  draped  to cover part of the doorway.   I felt other people around me, but I could not see them. Then I  felt a sense of happiness and there was an air of celebration.   My eyes became focused on the path, and from my field of vision,  I saw someone’s beautiful feet wearing sandals approaching the spiral path. When I saw the sandals I felt a feeling of love from  whoever wore them.

My eyes moved up and then I realized it was Jesus walking towards the spiral path.   He was originally close to me but at that time I only saw his sandals.    He appeared near some clouds and I saw that  Jesus wore a beautiful brown and beige robe.   Some of the colors intersected into the cloth across his chest.   Jesus  turned to receive something from someone who handed him a plate.  I could not see this being.    I saw that the plate contained what looked liked two giant dates.

I heard a kind of sound, and I saw my husband Robert sitting with cross legs on  this beautiful  spiral path.   He was in light which was glowing around his face, yet subtle, and light was glowing from within him.  Robert looked at me very briefly and then he looked at Jesus who handed him a plate.  Robert started to talk to Jesus.  I could not hear any of the conversation, but I know Robert was asking Jesus questions.

Jesus handed out more plates of food and then he sat down next to Robert.  Jesus was very friendly,  and he appeared to already know Robert’s concerns.    I thought at one point that he offered  a plate to me, but I am not sure of this.  Jesus had his full attention on Robert and was listening to his questions.

During this dream, I felt my sense of vision being guided and I was not in control.   It was as if someone was next to me telling me what to look at, but I did not hear or see who it was.  I felt a sense of someone being over me .   Maybe I was not supposed to see everything, but the dream had a calming and beautiful effect.

The meaning of the spiritual food has significance because when Robert had pancreatic cancer he could not eat anything.  Sometimes he went to the emergency room for intravenous fluids and nutrients.  He had a rapid form of cancer.  I prayed and often wondered why he became ill, and I am still asking about this.

By the time Robert should have had chemo, the doctor advised us it was not a good idea, because Robert was too sick to receive it.  I felt they should have given him chemo right away, but they waited sixteen days.  The doctor said she could not believe the cancer spread that quickly.  He suffered from a lot of pain during his sickness; so, they  eventually gave him morphine, and he passed away in his sleep at the hospital.  It was on the day that he was scheduled to go to hospice care.

This dream reveals the love of Jesus who is giving Robert spiritual food.   Robert is feasting in heaven and having conversations with Jesus.    I am happy for my husband, but I miss him because he is not physically with me. There is consolation because this dream reveals that Robert is thinking of me and praying for me and our children.   He is asking Jesus to watch over us.

I believe dreams are given to us to communicate with our spirit. This is why it is good to ask the Lord for direction and make sure we are on the right path.  Try to be the best person you can be.  We can all improve.  I know this because my husband Robert tried his best, and he was a great man.  

If You Really Love Me Don’t Cry, By Robert W. McGowan, Jr..

This poem was written by my husband Robert W. McGowan, Jr. who recently passed away.  He wrote this to me, his children, and all those who loved him.  He was very brave, and knew he was going to be with the Lord.  He tried not to show his fear.    He wrote this poem about three days before he passed away which was  on 24 January 2014.  He wanted me to publish it.


When I get to heaven

I am going to look all around

For the faces on earth that I have found

I know when I get there

There be hundreds waiting to see me

More in heaven than on earth

That I have just left

Jesus will be smiling

Because he needed me there

Looking with a loving stare

He’ll hold my hand and take me to the castle I built

With my good deeds

It will have a stream and a lake

And rainbows all around

And all my friends and love ones

That I lost will be found

The people on earth

That I have just left

Will miss me for a while

Looking around for the things

I have touched with a smile

I knew when I put my clown costume on

I had fixed a lot of smiles

To all the players and all the haters

They will be glad when I am gone

But I will never have to see them

Because they won’t be in Heaven

They’ll be lost and gone

To the people who loved me

Please don’t cry

Because I will be next to you

Looking in your eyes

You will feel me every time you laugh

When you look at my silly pictures

You know my love will never past

Keep a smile tucked under your pillow at night

Of birthday parties past

God bless and good night.

"Pretzel" the Clown, my husband Robert McGowan, Jr.

“Pretzel” the Clown, my husband Robert McGowan, Jr.

By Robert W. McGowan, Jr.


Rob, I Want To Walk With You Again.

My husband Robert passed away on January 24, 2014 from Pancreatic cancer, stage 4, after just being diagnosed on January 3, 2014.  He went pretty quick and was in extreme pain.  The doctor even said she never saw a cancer progress so fast.  His kidneys shut down and the excess fluid went to his heart.  He passed away at the James Cancer Center in Columbus, Ohio. He was only 57 years old.

He was such a good man.  He was funny,  gentle,  and strong, and I know he is with the Lord.  I wrote a poem dedicated to him.  I will love him  forever. Before he went to the other side.  He told me “I will always be with you,” and “everything will be alright.”  We,  his family,  and the world has lost a great man.

I want to walk with you again,

Like we did here and in times to come

So glad that you found me

You remember our walks to Penn’s Landing?

How we looked at the ships,

reminding you of the Navy

You said “Will you marry me?”

We knew each other.

At that first meet, on that sunny street in Delaware, Ohio.

I always liked to watch you swim.

You were good at it.

And I noticed when concerned about things

Your hair curled even more at the back of your neck

I  lift the low brim of your hat, kiss you and say,

“You can’t hide from me?”

You would look at me and the cares went away.

“Everything will be all right” you said

I knew it would be, because you said so.

But remember Al buzz, Big Dave, and Submarine Mike.  All your crazy friends

From the neighborhoods in South Philly,

Our walks to the Italian market

You liked living in Philly.

You grew up in Marion and had many friends.

I never saw so many

Rob, Dave, Rick,  and Warren, the car angel,  and many others

You loved going junking, picking up a scrap or two

Robbie liked riding in the truck with you

You said you playing the drums they called “the strawberry b….” in the Marion Cadets

And I liked it when you called my brother, “Brother”

Robbie, your son “Best Friend” and “Little Buddy”

Charisma, your daughter, “Pretty”

A treasured daughter who loved running errands  with you

I was your “Little Bird”, “Sweety”, and “Pretty”, and you were my “Sweety” and “Purdy Cat”

We were always being funny

Saying silly things about this and that

Our humble house has many nick knacks.

You always made me laugh

No matter what

The way you looked with your happy smile

And smiling eyes set me on fire

You made me happy all the time

Singing your “alien song” and many others

Playing your guitar

You even sang for my mother

She said “Jeanie, he is an angel.”

You reminded me of a minstrel cowboy who lived long ago.

Being “Pretzel the Clown” and sculpting balloons was your joy

Even being Santa occasionally too

You were many great things but you were humble too

There was nothing you couldn’t do

You even healed me when I was sick or tired

Your touch made it magical

I never saw such gifts in anyone

You could make anything better

There was something about you

That was found in no other

I told you your name is “miracle”

Because that is who you really are

But I really want to walk with you again when we meet in Heaven

Even if you already walk with me now

and you said “I will always be with you.”

Robert and Me on our wedding day in 1988

Robert and Me on our wedding day in 1988

Because my love, you are my best friend

The greatest man I will ever know

It is your goodness that makes me wonder

Why there are not many men like you

Then I realized that God only made a special few

And that special few is you.

The Magic of Christmas – A Poem.

Shepherds adore the Newborn Christ

The magic of the silver bells heard everywhere you go

This time of year expresses  the light of falling snow

and Fall did said its last good-by

and Poinsettia  bloom so very high

while the red and green of  mistletoe dangles from the sky

and you wait for  love to arrive

It’s the happiness of Christmas

But don’t forget the savior in the manger

who loves you even more

He will deck the halls with his true love

The holy child who came from above

His star does not shine on evergreen boughs

no garland wraps his manger

He came to us so unadorned

Those who believe in him are not strangers

As the Spirit of the Lord soars

and be like the shepherds who journey for his gifts

Discern like the Magi who study his star

that brings light to the world from near and afar

It’s the magic of Christmas

Build up your faith with prayerful hands

and praise him for his love

You won’t find him under a tree, but in your heart like a dove

Merry Christmas


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 435 other followers

%d bloggers like this: