A Favorite Biblical Verse – Revelations 19

“I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True.  With justice he judges and makes war.  His eyes are like blazing fire, and on his head are many crowns.  He has a name written on him that no one knows but he himself.  He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and his name is the Word of God.  The armies of heaven were following him, riding on white horses and dressed in fine linen, white and clean.  Out of his mouth comes a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations.  He will rule them with an iron scepter.  He treads the wine-press of the fury of the wrath of God Almighty.  On his robe and on his thigh he has this name written:  King of Kings and Lord of Lords.  And I saw an angel standing in the sun who cried in a loud voice to all the birds…

Then I saw the beast and the kings of the earth and their armies gathered together to make war against the rider on the horse and his army.  But the beast was captured and with him the false prophet who had performed the miraculous signs on his behalf.  With these signs he deluded those who had received the mark of the beast and worshiped his image.  The two of them were thrown alive into the burning lake of sulfur.  The rest of them were killed with the sword that came out of the mouth of the rider on the horse, and all the birds gorged themselves on their flesh. ”  Revelations 19: 11-21.

It goes on to include Michael seizing the dragon, the devil; Christians given the power to judge; the newly converted Christians who were converted after the rapture, who did not accept the mark of the beast, and who were martyred during the tribulation, They reign with Christ for one thousand years.  and are part of the thousand-year reign. After this the dead are judged, death and hell are destroyed, and there is a new heaven and a new earth.

Jesus, The Good Shepherd

My references are from the Holy Bible,  and since different Bibles have different publishers actual words will vary, but the meaning is usually the same.

Robert Appears Energetic As Ever


Kleki (1)
My husband Robert appeared one morning and wakes me up from sleep.



1x1I was sleeping on the couch when I heard a noise which sounded different from normal noises as if the sounds were garbled,  very loud, and possibly from more than one being.   It was about seven in the morning.  I looked without getting up and saw my husband, Robert, quickly moving from the hallway into the living room and into my view before  he disappeared.  He looked  younger and his muscles showed through a T-shirt he was wearing.

There were beautiful multi-colored electrical shapes flowing out from his back and the back of his legs.  Robert was moving extremely fast; then, he quickly stopped and clapped his hands and said “Jeannie! Wake up!”  I was still laying down, but my head was up looking at him.  I was still tired and laid my head on the pillow,  but then I saw my Robert’s  face as I  opened my eyes.  He said  “Jeannie! Wake up.”   He was standing over me, and he did not frighten me at all.  Robert is loving soul.

My husband always called me by my middle name which is Jeanie.  Robert had a habit of clapping his hands when he wanted to wish really hard for something good.  He had a sense of the theatrical about him, but his  innocence,  goodness, and wonderful sense of humor always made me laugh.   I often feel him trying to continue to do this.   I miss him very much, but I know God loves him.

After I got up, I was thankful and felt great that my husband blessed me with his presence.  I thanked God for the gift of seeing my husband again. About almost an hour later,  the phone rang.  The caller was from an agency and he informed me about something which Robert and I talked about before he passed away.

I am glad I answered the phone because it was important, and even though it was a good call there was important information which needed my focus.  My husband knew about this information and he came to visit me, and this is a good thing.   There was also an appointment that could not be missed that day.    In a way, I am glad my cell phone alarm did not go off.

I believe  that God allows love ones to appear and communicate through dreams and visions.  When there is an appearance, it only last a second or two.  Heaven and the  afterlife exist  in a different dimension.   Sometimes I have a whole dream complete with sensory perceptions, and often feel that there are others with me but can not see them.   My children have similar experiences, and an old friend of my husband, David, has mentioned that he often experiences Robert’s presence.

There was also something else which kind of made this vision even more valid.   I found out that one of the switches in our living room was a fire hazard when sparks and small flames started to shoot out from it.  It was only afterwards that I realize when I saw Robert, sparks were coming out of him; however, I believe the shining sparks are also forms of energy.  The electrical unit was fixed before it became an even bigger problem.

My vision  has nothing to do with mediumship, but  God allows me to have these experiences.  These are supernatural experiences of a heavenly kind.  We are Christians.  I do not want to offend God in any way.  I did not call my husband up because that is something we should not do.  God sent my husband to give me warnings, and it was the Lord who allowed this miracle to happen which is something money can not buy.

I believe when we get to heaven, God has assignments for us to fulfill our destiny.  Heaven is not boring.  There is worshiping of God but there is even more for us to do.    We use our gifts on earth, and we also use them in heaven.  I want my readers  to know that I am grateful for my experiences, and maybe there are those who will believe that this life on earth is not really the end.    March 25, 2014


My Dreams About Robert


Dream of my husband Robert with Jesus 02/2014
Dream of my husband Robert with Jesus 02/2014

Yes God does allow our love ones to communicate because he is a righteous God who comforts us when we are in pain.  The Lord especially comforted me when I had a dream about my husband Robert.  I was going to ask God to show me a sign, but before I even asked I had this dream.  Since there are many different types of dreams and different reasons why we have them, my personal dream was a revelation  dream which reveals a truth.  In my particular dream God shows me my husband who not only acknowledges me, but also I see our Lord and Savior Jesus The Christ.   Dreams also have significance in the Bible, and answers to questions manifest in dreams.   

The prophetic dreams of Daniel focuses on warnings and prophecy. There are also instructional dreams and symbolic dreams.   The apostle John had dream-visions, but his revelations are so profoundly filled with mystery and warnings of the end times.   My particular dream is on a personal level, but it has spiritual significance.

My husband Robert often agreed with me when I  said that  some people will not understand, because some are not capable of understanding.   Since my husband Robert went to live in heaven  on January 24, 2014,  I experienced some dreams about him and had some spiritual encounters.  My children Robert and Charisma also had similar experiences.   We appreciate the Lord giving us this beautiful gift.   

About three days ago on February 16, 2014  in the early morning hours I had a dream of Robert .  Even though it was a wonderful dream, and it was comforting,  I still  miss his physical presence.   My husband was such a spark of energy and love, and everyday he treated me with love and kindness.   

I fell asleep after reading Bible passages and watching a movie. The first thing I remember in the dream is a feeling of transportation to another place.   It felt like I was moving out and then up from where I was physically sleeping on the couch. I was actually someplace else and going somewhere,  but I had no control over this, and I could not see my physical body.  I was not afraid.

The first thing I noticed was a beautiful spiral stone pathway that started with a single stone that gradually got wider.  The path was there but there were clouds around the path which hid most of the background.  The stones were round and smooth which natural shades ranging from brown to white. The path grew bigger as more of it became visible.  There was a sense of clean fragrant air which was sweet and felt healing.   Every where I looked nothing was dirty or unclean.  I heard musical sounds very faintly but could not make them out.

In the background I saw houses of Middle Eastern design.  I saw one doorway to a house  draped  to cover part of the doorway.  The drape had a stripe pattern.  I felt other people around me, but I could not see them. Then I  felt a sense of happiness and there was an air of celebration.   My eyes became focused on the path, and from my field of vision,  I saw someone’s beautiful feet wearing sandals approaching the spiral path. When I saw the sandals I felt a feeling of love from  whoever wore them.

My eyes moved up and then I realized it was Jesus walking towards the spiral path.   He was originally close to me but at that time I only saw his sandals.    He appeared near some clouds and I saw that  Jesus wore a beautiful brown and beige robe.   Some of the colors intersected into the cloth across his chest.   Jesus  turned to receive something from someone who handed him a plate.  I could not see this being.    I saw that the plate contained what looked liked two giant dates.

I heard a kind of sound, and I saw my husband Robert sitting with cross legs on  this beautiful  spiral path.   He was in light which was glowing around his face, yet subtle, and light was glowing from within him.  Robert looked at me very briefly and then he looked at Jesus who handed him a plate.  Robert started to talk to Jesus.  I could not hear any of the conversation, but I know Robert was asking Jesus questions.

Jesus handed out more plates of food and then he sat down next to Robert.  Jesus was very friendly,  and he appeared to already know Robert’s concerns.    I thought at one point that he offered  a plate to me, but I am not sure of this.  Jesus had his full attention on Robert and was listening to his questions.

During this dream, I felt my sense of vision being guided and I was not in control.   It was as if someone was next to me telling me what to look at, but I did not hear or see who it was.  I felt a sense of someone being over me .   Maybe I was not supposed to see everything, but the dream had a calming and beautiful effect.

The meaning of the spiritual food has significance because when Robert had pancreatic cancer he could not eat anything.  Sometimes he went to the emergency room for intravenous fluids and nutrients.  He had a rapid form of cancer.  I prayed and often wondered why he became ill, and I am still asking about this.

By the time Robert should have had chemo, the doctor advised us it was not a good idea, because Robert was too sick to receive it.  I felt they should have given him chemo right away, but they waited sixteen days.  The doctor said she could not believe the cancer spread that quickly.  He suffered from a lot of pain during his sickness; so, they  eventually gave him morphine, and he passed away in his sleep at the hospita on the day that he was scheduled to go to hospice care.

This dream reveals the love of Jesus who is giving Robert spiritual food.   Robert is feasting in heaven and having conversations with Jesus.    I am happy for my husband, but I miss him because he is not physically with me. There is consolation because this dream reveals that Robert is thinking of me and praying for me and our children.   He is asking Jesus to watch over us.

I believe dreams are given to us to communicate with our spirit. This is why it is good to ask the Lord for direction and make sure we are on the right path.  Keep your focus on God even during hard times and God will comfort your soul in many ways.  I thank Jesus the Christ for revealing to me that my husband Robert is in his presence.  I could not have asked for a better man and now God has a great one in heaven.  Until we meet again.   

If You Really Love Me Don’t Cry, By Robert W. McGowan, Jr.

This poem was written by my husband Robert W. McGowan, Jr. who recently passed away.  He wrote this to me, his children, and all those who loved him.  He was very brave, and knew he was going to be with the Lord.  He tried not to show his fear.    He wrote this poem about three days before he passed away which was  on 24 January 2014.  He wanted me to publish it.


When I get to heaven

I am going to look all around

For the faces on earth that I have found

I know when I get there

There be hundreds waiting to see me

More in heaven than on earth

That I have just left

Jesus will be smiling

Because he needed me there

Looking with a loving stare

He’ll hold my hand and take me to the castle I built

With my good deeds

It will have a stream and a lake

And rainbows all around

And all my friends and love ones

That I lost will be found

The people on earth

That I have just left

Will miss me for a while

Looking around for the things

I have touched with a smile

I knew when I put my clown costume on

I had fixed a lot of smiles

To all the players and all the haters

They will be glad when I am gone

But I will never have to see them

Because they won’t be in Heaven

They’ll be lost and gone

To the people who loved me

Please don’t cry

Because I will be next to you

Looking in your eyes

You will feel me every time you laugh

When you look at my silly pictures

You know my love will never past

Keep a smile tucked under your pillow at night

Of birthday parties past

God bless and good night.

"Pretzel" the Clown, my husband Robert McGowan, Jr.
“Pretzel” the Clown, my husband Robert McGowan, Jr.

By Robert W. McGowan, Jr.


Rob, I Want To Walk With You Again

My husband Robert passed away on January 24, 2014 from Pancreatic cancer, stage 4, after just being diagnosed on January 3, 2014.  He went pretty quick and was in extreme pain.  The doctor even said she never saw a cancer progress so fast.  His kidneys shut down and the excess fluid went to his heart.  He passed away at the James Cancer Center in Columbus, Ohio. He was only 57 years old.

He was such a good man.  He was funny,  gentle,  and strong, and I know he is with the Lord.  I wrote a poem dedicated to him.  I will love him  forever. Before he went to the other side.  He told me “I will always be with you,” and “everything will be alright.”  We,  his family,  and the world has lost a great man.

I want to walk with you again,

Like we did here and in times to come

So glad that you found me

You remember our walks to Penn’s Landing?

How we looked at the ships,

reminding you of the Navy

You said “Will you marry me?”

We knew each other.

At that first meet, on that sunny street in Delaware, Ohio.

I always liked to watch you swim.

You were good at it.

And I noticed when concerned about things

Your hair curled even more at the back of your neck

I  lift the low brim of your hat, kiss you and say,

“You can’t hide from me?”

You would look at me and the cares went away.

“Everything will be all right” you said

I knew it would be, because you said so.

But remember Al buzz, Big Dave, and Submarine Mike.  All your crazy friends

From the neighborhoods in South Philly,

Our walks to the Italian market

You liked living in Philly.

You grew up in Marion and had many friends.

I never saw so many

Rob, Dave, Rick,  and Warren, the car angel,  and many others

You loved going junking, picking up a scrap or two

Robbie liked riding in the truck with you

You said you playing the drums they called “the strawberry b….” in the Marion Cadets

And I liked it when you called my brother, “Brother”

Robbie, your son “Best Friend” and “Little Buddy”

Charisma, your daughter, “Pretty”

A treasured daughter who loved running errands  with you

I was your “Little Bird”, “Sweety”, and “Pretty”, and you were my “Sweety” and “Purdy Cat”

We were always being funny

Saying silly things about this and that

Our humble house has many nick knacks.

You always made me laugh

No matter what

The way you looked with your happy smile

And smiling eyes set me on fire

You made me happy all the time

Singing your “alien song” and many others

Playing your guitar

You even sang for my mother

She said “Jeanie, he is an angel.”

You reminded me of a minstrel cowboy who lived long ago.

Being “Pretzel the Clown” and sculpting balloons was your joy

Even being Santa occasionally too

You were many great things but you were humble too

There was nothing you couldn’t do

You even healed me when I was sick or tired

Your touch made it magical

I never saw such gifts in anyone

You could make anything better

There was something about you

That was found in no other

I told you your name is “miracle”

Because that is who you really are

But I really want to walk with you again when we meet in Heaven

Even if you already walk with me now

and you said “I will always be with you.”

Robert and Me on our wedding day in 1988
Robert and Me on our wedding day in 1988

Because my love, you are my best friend

The greatest man I will ever know

It is your goodness that makes me wonder

Why there are not many men like you

Then I realized that God only made a special few

And that special few is you.

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